10 Tips to Improve Self-Esteem

1. Say: "Stop!" to your inner critic.

A good place to start with raising your self-esteem is by learning how to handle, and replace, the voice of your inner critic. Your inner critic can spur you on to get things done or to do things to gain acceptance from the people in your life, but at the same time it can drag your self-esteem down. This inner voice whispers destructive thoughts.

One way to stop this is to simply say “Stop!” whenever the critic pipes up in your mind. You can do this by creating a stop-word or stop-phrase. Do not allow your mind to go there. If you feel it happening, refocus your thoughts to something more constructive- like planning what you want to eat for dinner or plan a fun activity for this weekend!


2. Use healthier motivation habits.
To make the inner critic less destructive and to raise your self-esteem it certainly helps to have healthy motivation habits such as:

• Reminding yourself of the benefits. A simple but powerful way to motivate yourself is to write down the deeply felt benefits you will get from following this new path or reaching a goal.
• Refocusing on doing what YOU really, really like to do. When you really enjoy doing something, the motivation to do that thing tends to comes automatically. When you really want something in life it becomes easier to push through any inner resistance you may feel. So if you lose your motivation, ask yourself: “Am I doing what I really want to do?” If not and if possible, then refocus and start working on the more important thing instead.

3. Take a 2-minute self-appreciation break.

This is a very simple and fun habit that only takes a few minutes! Here’s what you do:

1. Take a deep breath
2. Slow down 
3. Ask yourself this question: What are 3 things I can appreciate about myself? 

A few examples could be:

• I am a great friend
• I can make people laugh 
• My work makes a positive impact

These things don’t have to be big things. These items demonstrate that you are a caring and kind person in many situations. These short breaks do not only build self-esteem, but can also reverse a negative mood. Try writing down your answers daily. A nice benefit of documenting them is that after a few weeks you can read through all the answers to get a good self-esteem boost and change in perspective on days when you may need it the most.

4. Do the right thing.

When you do the right thing you raise and strengthen your self-esteem.

It might be a small thing like getting up from the couch and going to the gym, being understanding instead of judgmental in a situation or to stop feeling sorry for yourself and focus on your opportunities and show gratitude for what you currently possess.

It is not always easy to do. Keeping a focus on doing what is best can have a large impact in the results you get and how you think about yourself.

5. Replace the perfectionism.

How can you overcome perfectionism? 

• Go for good enough. When you aim for perfection, you risk never completing a project or task. Go for good enough instead. This is not an excuse to slack off, but to simply realize that some things need to be left at good enough and when you are there, you are finished.
• Remember that buying into myths of perfection will hurt you and the people in your life. This simple reminder that life is not like in a movie, a song or a book. This serves as a good reality check whenever you are daydreaming of perfection.

6. Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way.

If you go outside of your comfort zone, if you try to accomplish anything that is truly meaningful then you will stumble and fall along the way. That is normal.

Find the upside. Regardless of the situation, focus on optimistic components and opportunities. Ask yourself: 

• What is one thing I can learn from this? 
• What is one opportunity I can find in this situation? 
• Did I have fun trying?

This will help you to change your viewpoint and hopefully not hit the same bump a little further down the road.

7. Be kinder towards other people.

When you are kinder towards others you tend to think of yourself in a kinder way. It can be as simple as listening to someone vent, holding the door for the next person, letting someone into your lane while driving or encouraging an unmotivated friend.

8. Try something new.

When you try something challenging and new, your opinion of yourself goes up. Go outside of your comfort zone regularly. Don’t expect anything, just be willing to try something out. If it feels too scary or uncomfortable then don’t beat yourself up. Take a smaller step forward instead by gently nudging yourself into motion.

9. Stop falling into the comparison trap.

If you compare your life, yourself and what you have to other people’s lives then you have destructive habit on your hands. You can never win in this situation. There is always someone who has more or is better than you at something in the world. There are always people ahead of you.

Replace that habit with looking at how far you have come instead. Compare yourself to yourself! This will both motivate you and raise your self-esteem.

10. Spend more time with supportive people (and less time with destructive people).

Choose to spend less time with people who are nervous perfectionists, unkind or unsupportive of your goals. Choose to spend more time with positive, uplifting people who have kinder standards and ways of thinking.

This stretches beyond the people in your life. Think about what you read, listen to and watch. Spend less time on an internet forum, reading a magazine or watching a television show if you feel it promotes negative thoughts.

Always…Remember the whys of high self-esteem.

What is a simple way to stay consistent with doing something? As mentioned above: to remember the most important reasons why you are doing it. Remind yourself to stay motivated and make your self-esteem an essential priority.