Preventing Toxic Positivity

 

There are a wide array of human emotions and experiences and each of us can feel a mixture of emotions, at any given time. When life gets challenging, we want to respond with resilience but sometimes we’re overwhelmed, or worse. When the going gets tough, what is the harm in the friend that says, “look on the bright side”?

WHAT IS TOXIC POSITIVITY?

Toxic positivity is using positivity to reject the challenging parts of life. You can do this to yourself, or it can occur between people, like friends telling you to “just be positive” during a mental health crisis.

TOXIC POSITIVITY EXAMPLES

See if you have heard these types of statements before:

• telling a parent whose child has died to be happy that they can have children
• asserting after a disaster that “everything happens for a reason”
• telling someone to get over their grief and focus on the good things in their life
• labeling people who always appears positive as being stronger than others
• brushing off someone’s concerns by saying, “it could be worse”

Maybe you can identify some commonalities in these types of statements.  They can invalidate the experiences, interpretation, or emotional reaction of the person struggling. They can undermine autonomy, making that person feel less in control of themselves. They can ignore real problems, sometimes worsening them.

Toxic positivity also shows up in fitness. Prevalent examples that have become self-help clichés are sentiments like “no pain, no gain”, “no bad days”, and “failure is not an option.” Each of these diminishes an individual’s process of struggling, learning, and growing.

How TO AVOID TOXIC POSITIVITY

Avoiding toxic positivity starts with accepting that human beings sometimes suffer and struggle. We all experience negative things, and sometimes life events will cause negative emotions. Instead of pushing away challenging emotions, accept them. Sometimes the only way out of a dark cloud is through it.

If someone is struggling to get through a difficult time, professional guidance and support is available.