How to Take Time for Self Compassion

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While many of us spend time and energy ensuring that we are kind and compassionate to others, we often forget the importance of being compassionate toward ourselves. 

Never forget that the way we speak to ourselves impacts every moment of the day! Critical self-talk can increase depression and stress. Practicing self-compassion can help us become more motivated, confident and enjoy our lives more.

One quick exercise for practicing self-compassion is simply to take time to check in with ourselves, and find out how we are doing.  Silly as this may seem, many of us live in such a flurry of activity that we don’t necessarily “just know” all the time how we are doing.  

This self compassion exercise can be broken up into three phases:

  • Phase 1: Identify one feeling in this moment.
  • Phase 2: Identify a corresponding need.
  • Phase 3: You can “fix” the need, or simply accept that the need is present.  There is no wrong answer here.

Example: I am frustrated because my need for respect from others isn’t being met.  I choose to accept this need, as I cannot force anyone else to show respect.  I also acknowledge my frustrations and needs by acting respectfully toward myself.

Sometimes, when so many emotions are swarming, it can be difficult to identify what the stand out emotion is.  In these times, scanning a list can help us get started:

                                

Feelings

Hostile, angry

Exhilarated, invigorated

Annoyed, upset

Inspired, joyful

Tense, afraid, vulnerable

Relaxed, curious, confident

Confused, embarrassed

Engaged, hopeful

Tired, disconnected

Refreshed, affectionate

Sad, envious

Peaceful, grateful

Shocked, pain

Relieved, content

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